


A Place among the stars

by Inkn1ght1



Category: Baahubali (Movies)
Genre: Baahubali Au where Bhalla and Baahu grow up as brothers, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2019-08-04 08:45:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16343624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkn1ght1/pseuds/Inkn1ght1
Summary: Bhalladeva was the silent rock in the tumultous river of life that flowed through Mahishmati. He longed for his jasmine scented solace, but he had to stay the course. Forces far more treacherous than the paths of the Prastara jungles were at play here. And he had to be his mother's shield, his brother's Preceptor and his Indu's Vanguard, whether she wished it or not.





	1. paarijatha

**Author's Note:**

> Here is an attempt to give a fair chance to one of the most amazing characters in the movie Baahubali. How he would have been, had he been shielded from his father's venom and received his mother's love, his brother's suppport and his teacher's regard. A path that did not pit the brother's against each other.

All I had to do now was wait.

Waiting was not difficult for me. I had patience, lots and lots of it. Having a brother who had the attention span of a bee high on "champa" honey had taught me patience. I just had to wait till the high wore off, the adrenaline settled and Baahu got calm enough to think up a new adventure. 

And I had other things to worry about meantime. Watching my little brother climb the palace walls to jump scare the guard stationed there was fun enough when I could practice holding myself still enough that no one realised I was there. And that is also how I figured out that climbing walls without hand holds were good exercises to build muscle strength and endurance. My little brother had his uses.

Amma called me a procrastinator. But it was not true. I was patient. Rushing the jasmine vines to crawl across the trellis would not work anyways. I saw how the gardener mixed the egg shells into the dark soil at the roots of the vines. When Indu asked him why he did that, the gardener told her to wait and watch. She did, and I waited with her. We waited till the lamps were lit. Then the guards called us in for dinner. For all that we were friends, and inseparable throughout the day, we took our meals separately. It would not do for the daughter of a guard to eat the same food as the Prince. She understood it when I had trouble with the concept of separation. She understood a lot of things I could barely comprehend. 

But we made plans to meet up after dinner to watch for the jasmines. And it was spoiled when her mother took her home for dinner. I was pretty sure she would sneak back in and that was why I went out at midnight. The guards didn't mind me. I was constantly wandering around the palace. They were used to seeing me walking around. Sleep was something that eluded me at night. I could only sleep under the sun, somewhere open and airy. Closed doors suffocated me. I remember the days when I slept under the jasmine trellis while Indu read out her dreadful poetry.

I walked the length of the balcony, keeping the heel of one foot right against the toe of the other. I was counting my steps. A hundred and one steps until I had to turn around and see the magic. The buds of the jasmines were open, unnoticed. Now they were open and spreading their fragrance into the night. I wanted to shout, and scream. I wanted to jump up and down. I did jump up and down, though I restrained myself from screaming or clapping my hands. I had jumped up and down a few times when one of the passing guards gave me a curious glance. I ignored him, Just like I ignored everyone. And he ignored me right back. That was how it worked in my life. I wanted to share this moment with one person only, and she was not there with me.

The next day, I told her all about it and she promised to sneak out to see the magic herself. She was smiling when she said that. But even I knew the bitterness she tried to hide. She would not be able to come here at night. A lot of things prohibited that. And somehow I knew that this was only the beginning. The beginning of the end of our childhood.

 

That was years ago. I still sit on the balcony watching the magic of midnight on jasmines blooming. The growth of the jasmine trellis marked the passage of time for me. And I had the patience to wait for the flowers, for the slight tendrils of the vines to reach out and hold a new piece of the support frame, to hold fast and grow new leaves, to bloom at midnight. I used to pick the flowers in the mornings. Amma did not mind. She had plenty. And the ones I plucked were always the ones i knew bloomed the night before, while I watched.

And I made them into garlands for Indu's hair. At first i didn't know how to make those garland. I used to sit on the temple steps and watch the ladies there make garlands for the Gods. They made garlands of "champa" and "Jamanthi". They made the garlands from bendy strands of plaintain threads. And i got Baahu to steal some for me everyday. I didn't want him involved, but Indu adored him. And his puppy dog eyes worked amazing on women, of all ages.. Ughh!!!

But the garlands we made with those plantain threads were bulky and unwieldy for Indu's hair. So we had to resort to stealing silken twines from Amma's tailor. And Baahu helped a lot. Not just with stealing, but figuring out graceful hairstyles for Indu's hair. The idiot was good with patterns and stuff. (Uggghhh!! again.) But he always let me do Indu's hair. Even the idiot knew how possessive I was of her. He always had a sly look in his eyes when he watched me play with Indu's hair. The one time i caught him smiling at us, he said that he only wished he knew how to paint so he could make a portrait of us.

"You know, like those of the Maharaja's that hangs at the great hall corridor?"

"Baahu, he is your father.!" Indu said softly.

"I know." But his smile had lost its humor.

And I wondered how he felt about losing both parents. I wouldn't know his pain. I had both mine alive and well. Although, my mother treated Baahu as her own son, my father had refused to even call him family.

"The brat killed my brother even before he was born, and killed my sister-in-law with birth. I cannot bear to look at him." That was how Bijjala Deva responded when Sivagami asked him to bless the boy at his "guru deeksha" ceremony. I felt the slap of it in my heart. But Amarendra Baahubali, who was bending down to touch his Uncle's feet, merely stepped back, turned and touched the feet of Kattappa.

"Bless me, Gurudeva." Baahu had said, his voice resonating in the chambers for all to hear.

And his favourite uncle had blessed him.

Amma touched my shoulder. Perhaps she wished to stop me from what I was about to do, Perhaps she encouraged me to do it. But I could not think past the pain in my throat. I stepped forward and bend to touch Kattppa's feet myself.

"Bless us, Gurudeva."

Kattappa did, with tears in his eyes, and wet words.

Later, Baahu nudged at me with his shoulder and smiled. I smiled back and saw in my periphery the scowl on my father's face. And that was how I defied my father the first time. And it was not to be the last time. 

And now I wait for something that eludes me like jasmine scent on the night breeze.


	2. dharmasana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sivagami has faced many dilemmas in her Fifty years of life. Her rule as Rajmata had presented her with battles where her principles stood on one side against the might of Mahishmati on the other. But never had she ever had to see herself pitted against her beloved son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Sivagami's perspective in a third person narrative. Unlike the last chapter that was in Bhalla's POV.  
> Also, it is a small chapter. Sorry..

_"You had to make that promise, didn't you?"_

Sivagami was mentally screaming at Amarendra, even as she stood silent and shocked. Mahishmati stood frozen watching the edge of a sword that defended the Kuntalan Princess.

  
_"You really had to, didn't you? And what of my promise?"_

Her eyes moved to her other son, her beloved Bhalla who stood stoic and silent near her husband. If that wasn't a declaration of which side he took, what else could be?  
Only the last echoes of Amarendra's words still echoed across everyone's minds.

**"I have promised to protect Devasena's dignity, Amma."**

  
From a distance she could hear the elderly Minister speak to Amarendra. "How can you say such things? You who always say that even the almighty Shiva might make a mistake, but my mother would never make one.?"

The court was silent. Everyone had stood the moment Baahubali's sword had left its sheath. It might as well be a tableau, the likes of which the artists made for the annual Kooli Amman's temple festival.

 

She was rambling in her head. All these years ruling this great Kingdom with an iron fist. Had it made her short sighted about her own children?.  
_"No, no...no... I cannot think like that. that would be escapism. And Rajmata Sivagami Devi was not a coward. "_

 

She was still looking at Amarendra and not seeing anything. But now she straightened and looked him in the eyes. And saw her own pain reflected in his eyes. It seemed her son was begging her to understand.

 _"Silly child! Did he think she forgot her own lessons? Did the boy think that her teachings were merely for them and not the principles by which she lived? or tried to, at the very least"_  
Her own words as she taught the little boys, seemed to echo in the courtroom.But it was only in her head

**"For the promise you made, for the truth you believe in, for the dharma you keep, stand strong, even against the almighty Shiva. DO not ever fear. This is the true Dharma of a Kshatriya."**

 

But she had broken her promises. The price one paid to safeguard Mahishmati. And this would be just one more promise she broke.

She closed her eyes and nodded lightly and Amarendra sighed with relief.

Now, it was time to pay the piper.

Sivagami turned towards her eldest son.

 

Bhalla looked at her, but refused to meet her eyes. She could not beg his forgiveness. She looked him over, the son she bore for nine difficult months but who gave her no fuss in the last twenty five years. The son, she realised, who had a restraining arm on his father's shoulder.

Oh..

_"My baby boy. Why do I always fail you so?"_

  
Why couldn't she protect her son from heartbreaks.? She ruled this magnificent kingdom with all its power and wealth. But why could not the Rajmata keep the promises made to her own blood?

 

  
For a moment, she lapsed back to the beginning of her reign. The blood drenched court and another broken promise. The declaration that rocked the Kingdom, and devastated her marriage in one go. The infants who snuggled in her arms, and nourished from her body did not understand what she did. Then at least she had the excuse of the child not understanding anything. But the grown man who stood safeguarding the peace of the court deserved more. She hoped the Goddess watching over her Kingdom would see his sacrifices and reward him. For, mother that she was, Sivagami kept failing her son.

 

A voice, grand as any King's, bold and commanding, broke the silence.

"Perhaps the princes and the Princess be requiring some rest from the journey."

Kattappa. The man of war who always strived for peace.

 

"Of course"

She waved a hand and stepped off her pedestal, literally. The rule of Rajmata was coming to an end. Her guards walked silently with her.

 

Amarendra started to move towards her, like he always did to accompany her from court. But then he stopped, and in her peripheral vision she saw who stopped him. Indra, her own silent shadow, had stepped into his path and Amarendra bend his head in acquiescence.

 

And Sivagami knew there were other promises she will break. But for now, her voice rose.

"Indu!"

"Rajmata?"

"Accompany the Kuntalan Princess and her people to guest quarters. "

Indu stepped back with a bow.

 

"Kattappa"

"Rajmata?"

"Put the Princes to work in the stables"

"Horse or Elephants, Rajmata?"

Kattappa never joked. He was her rock for the last three decades. And for him to speak thus meant there was more at stake here than just broken promises.  
Sivagami looked at Amarendra and then at Bhallaladeva, and saw the amused glance they exchanged.

 

"Elephant."

"Amma!!" Amarendra cried.

Bhalla just shook his head, but a smile lit the corner of his mouth. And Sivagami knew that her world had not ended yet.

She left the court, and heard snickers from the younger courtiers. She also saw a baffled Princess look around.

Just another day in court.


	3. hetu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sivagami remembers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback episode in SIvagami's POV.

Rajmata Sivagami Devi retired to her chambers with strict instructions that she was not to  be disturbed , not even by her beloved princes .

 

_Let the rumor mills run._

 

_ Let the court think she was upset enough...! _

She truly was upset; upset enough to take a moment to stand and stare at the portrait of Vikramadeva. The king who had ruled with an unparalleled sense of justice. 

 

"Have I failed you, dear friend?"

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

The first time Sivagami saw one of the princes, was when she accompanied her uncle to one of the  numerous meetings he took at the palace . Her Uncle Bholenatha,  was considered an anomaly in the kingdom, to say the least.  He was a merchant, who purchased and sold a variety of goods and services to people all over the kingdom; oftentimes even in nearby kingdoms . Many noblemen courtiers felt that the King gave undue attention to a mere merchant. They feared it was polluting the court. Yes, that was the word one of the courtiers had used while describing her uncle's position. Neither the King, nor the merchant gave any heed to such gossip. They had an  outwardly warm friendship.  As his adopted daughter and heir, she had the opportunity to learn that her Uncle was no mere merchant, nor was he a friend to the King .  In his many travels across the different towns and villages of Mahishmati and nearby Kingdoms, Bholenatha had cultivated many such friendships with chieftains and nobles alike . He was an indispensable source of information to the King. The one person who  truly understood the grass roots of Mahishmati. And since she was his heir, Sivagami was being groomed to take his position when he reitred.

 

 

And that is how she received an invitation to the party organised in honour of Subahu, an elder among the nobles. He had finally stepped down from the seat of Chief Advisor to the King. His replacement to  be announced at the party. And Sivagami would be one of the first to know. It did not matter that she was only sixteen, she was taking part in this; it was part of her training. She watched from her place  slightly to the left behind her uncle.  There was a rhythm to the goings on, a movement that was  consistently followed by all involved  unconsciously . No courtier stepped forward to greet the others until the King greeted them first. When the King moved on, behind him the conversations could begin. Subahu walked to the King's left, greeting and greeted by all the guests of the night. That was not protocol, she knew. It was a special allowance made to the man who counselled the King through two wars and a drought. 

 

The noble men took turns praising Subahu in his years of service to the Kingdom.  The King himself expressed his gratitude for the many advice Subahu gave him, and the  numerous ways in which Subahu saved the Kingdom of Mahishmati . Sivagami felt the lie in the former, and the truth in the latter. Her training kept her senses sharp. She kept her place near her uncle as inconspicuous as can be under the circumstances.  Her dark blue silk saree with the lighter golden pallu currently hidden behind her helped her in the  endeavor . The courtyard was lit with heavy brass torches on tall posts. The darkness under each post held an armed soldier. Sivagami knew there were other soldiers currently patrolling the area. She also noted a few mingling courtiers who help soldier stance when near the King. Mahadeva did not trust his courtiers not to assassinate him. But why?  Barring Subahu and Bholenatha, not one of the courtiers held any position of respect or power to hold Mahishmati should an assassination occur . And Subahu was retiring from active duty to get medical attention for his failing health. He must know that even if he assassinated the King, he will not be able to hold the Kingdom.  Bholenatha,  on the other hand , had no political support in the court itself, irrespective of the power he wielded across Mahishmati and its tribute states . Moreover, Sivagami knew, he was loyal to the King, if not the crown itself.  What she failed to take into account that time was there was another player at court who had the ambition, the power, and it was one who held the grudging respect of many others in court . And he had  just entered the meeting grounds uninvited. 

 

 

There was an almost noiseless commotion, a quiet murmuring request from guards to the prince who tried to move past them, and an angry outburst from the prince himself . Still, it was not noisy enough to capture the attention of the King. But then the boisterous priest from the temple of Kooli Amman appeared like a wraith. He said something low to the guards, who  reluctantly moved away. The prince  clearly didn't like that the guards listened to the priest when they didn't listen to him. His displeasure spread on his face in an oily smile. The priest bend near him to whisper something. Sivagami knew that when the king retired and this prince came into power, she would be the one to deal with him.  Suddenly her future as a facilitator of Mahishmati appeared not so appealing anymore.  She had always liked to consider all the people in the machinery of governance as cogs that worked in tandem . She loved to figure out what made them tick and how to make them tick better.  But dealing with this particular cog in the machine would be, not difficult, but unappetising . It was not something she looked forward to. But she had to, though. Dealing with people, pleasant or unpleasant was her job. It was  just her job; she didn't have to like it anymore than she had to like who ruled the kingdom. She would be different from her uncle, she decided. She would be loyal to Mahishmati, and not to the ruler himself. 

 

And then the Prince  was announced .  The king looked pleased enough, but Sivagami did not miss the look he spared towards somewhere above the prince's shoulders . Sivagami looked too, there was nothing there. When she turned, the King's smile looked even pleasanter now; somehow happier. And he kept to the sidelines, letting the cown prince hog the limelite and the court's favour. 

Prince Bijjaladeva approached Subahu with a smile and courteous words. And the King moved towards Bholenatha. 

 

"Is this a mistake Bhole?"

 

Bholenatha turned to Sivagami and motioned towards the entrance. The King seemed startled to see her standing nearby. Was she so invisible?

Sivagami moved away towards the guards stationed near the entrance, but not before she heard her uncle tell the King, "If you have a doubt... " 

 

The rest of the conversation  was drowned in chatter of wind among the trees. She decided to move farther down the courtyard. After all, it was not everyday one got to wander the royalpalace grounds. The court was beautiful in its symmetry. Every shrub and tree in their respective niche. Not a fallen leaf on the lawn. The marigolds , sunflowers, and oleanders seem to stand guard to the night.  She thought the courtyard could use some geraniums- the jungle variety with the bright red flowers- and lots of jasmines and fox orchids . Otherwise, this courtyard was upto her taste.  She stood there rearranging the courtyard landscape in her mind for a few minutes before she realised that she was not alone . Someone stood behind her. 

 

Sivagami was not one to scare  easily . But this was a strange new space for her. She drew in a deep breath. And saw that the guards stood a few metres away. If she shouted, they would hear. She drew in another breath, turned and came face to face with the other prince, Vikramadeva.

 

He smiled.


	4. janayitri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Devasena has left her motherland and this strange empire greeted her with suspicion. This place had secrets in every corner. 
> 
> Indra has no patience for dumbass prince. She has even less for someone who would dare upset the Rajamata. For Indra, the sun rises and sets at Sivagami Devi's feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is in Devasena's PoV, for the most part.

 

  
Devasena had known the moment she set her eyes on the tall handsome man with the guileless smile that the fates were changing. It was a knowing every human has only once in their life.

Her mother had that when Devasena was born. Though Jayasena was being groomed to rule Kuntala after her, Gnanalakshmi had a knowing about her daughter. She had predicted that the very fabric of destiny will mold itself for the girl one day. Devasena felt something similar when she met Shivu. His honest smile had touched her in a way nothing had in her twenty five years of life. His eyes had promised her so much more than his words did, when she stood taking his hand the night before she left her beloved Kuntala behind.

  
What happened in the court of Mahishmati was unexpected. She had some trepidation at meeting the Queen Mother who ruled an empire with an iron fist. She had loved to hear about the lady from travellers from Mahishmati. She had hoped that the strong woman who raised Amarendra would not be threatened by her outspoken manner. But nothing she had assumed came to pass. What did happen, had her an inch from drawing a sword herself, if Amarendra had not.

  
Leaving the Rajsabha, with the Queen Mother's guard leading the way, she paused just outside the door. Amarendra had followed her, so did Bhallaladeva. She was vary of the prince. The jovial laughter they had when when the Queen Mother ordered them to clean the elephant stables, had disappeared. Devasena hoped she hadn't destroyed Amarendra's relationship with his family.

  
"This way, Crown Princess."

  
The guard motioned towards a door at the end of their path. On their left was carved niches in the wall that held ornate lamps and torches, unlit. Between them were Lattice windows throwing sunlight into the hallway in beautiful geometric designs. To their right spacious halls with opulent furniture were scattered around low tables that held vases and ornate pots overflowing with flowers and scented candles.

  
Devasena moved forward.  
"Did you really have to pull out your sword in front of Amma like that, you idiot?"  
A low strong voice admonished.  
Amarendra's answer was even lower and Devasena couldn't hear anything But she could hear a heavy thumping sound. She turned around.   
The brothers were facing each other. Amarendra's _angavstram_ hung from his arm. Aggression poured off him like steam of a hot stove.

  
_Just like I dreaded_.

  
Bhallaladeva's face was pure challenge. He even raised an eyebrow.   
Devasena started forward to say what? she didn't know. But she couldn't let them fight. SHe had already caused a rift between his mother and him. SHe will not let the brother's fight because of her. She had to resolve this now.

  
But before she could say anything, the guard had move forward and picked up an ornate vase from a low table near Amarendra and shifted it to a nearby wall niche.   
Aggression forgotten, everyone looked towards her.

"Gifted by the Rumani's of the western seas. Very fragile, especially when confronted with bear paws." She offered as an explanation, without any inflection in her voice.

  
Devasena tried to decipher its meaning. Bhallaladeva frowned while looking at his palms. Amarendra bend over and guffawed.

  
"Indra," he addressed the guard with raised arms, palm out, "I assure you these are lion paws, not a bear's."

  
"As you say, yuvraj." Same monotone.

  
"Lion paws? Right.!!" Bhallaladeva smirked and threw his hand around Amarendra's shoulders. He mock staggered under the weight. "oof!"  
Then rested his head on Bhallaladeva's shoulder and wrapped his own arm at his brother's waist.

  
"Lions sleep all day." Bhallaladeva continued.

  
Amarendra smiled cheerfully.

  
"Good thing you found yourself a lioness."

  
At this Amrendra beamed at a stunned and confused Devasena. Bhallaladeva turned to Devasena and smiled.

  
"Welcome to the family, Devasena."

  
Devasena could not have predicted the transformation that occured when he smiled. His face rivalled a thousand suns in its radiance. It wasn't a blinding smile like that of Amarendra. But Bhallaladeva glowed with an inner light at that moment and she knew without a doubt that this was a gift. Not many people received this gift. And she smiled back, hard not to.

  
"Thank you, Yuvraj Bhallaladeva."

  
"Just Bhalla is fine. You will be my sister soon enough."

  
"But..."

  
"Everything will be fine Devasena. Trust us." Amarendra spoke finally.

  
She smiled as the brothers hugged and spoke about a hundred things at the same time, interrupted with laughter and smiles. She also noticed that their guard had moved a few feet away, and Bhallaladeva was surreptitiously watching her.

The princes bid her farewell at the door to her rooms, Amrendra with a sinful smile, and Bhalla with a slight nod. Devasena entered the spacious airy room. It had huge balcony windows filled with flowering vines. There was a sitting area near the windows.

  
She sat in one of the large chairs with a sloping back. Her maids entered the rooms shortly and busied themselves with unpacking. The guard, Indra stood near the door.   
A guard who spoke with familiarity with the crown princes.

  
Her own guard, back in Kuntala used to joke around with her too. But never in the presence of a stranger. The protocols demanded that of guards and soldiers. But this woman was a mystery.

Devasena closed her eyes. She was tired. The mystery of Indra will have to wait.

  
She had bigger issues to deal with. The whole court saw her defy the Queen Mother. Whatever happened next, she hoped that the Queen Mother would accept her. If she did not...

 

***********************************************************

  
By nightfall, Indra was free to go home. She turned over the responsibility for the Kuntalan Princess's safety to Shailaja. Her path did not take her to the courtyard and out towards the soldiers barracks, where she lived.

No. Indra turned towards the North Halls instead. The wide hallways were brightly lit and held a soldier every ten feet facing the open windows. The Princes had their rooms on one end of the hall. But after a hard day's work, she knew they had decided to bunk down with the soldiers.

The spacious chambers that Sivagami Devi occupied lay ahead. The doors were closed and Jeeva stood guard. Indra nodded towards her and took position on the other side of the door. She backed up into the dark niche that usually housed a potted plant and disappeared from sight.

  
The Queen Mother had caught an unexpected blow today. Her beloved son had defied her. She would not sleep today. She will stand at her balcony and grieve about how her children had grown up so fast.   
Tonight Indra wouldn't sleep either.

Tonight she will guard her Queen, like she had guarded a frightened little girl. Saving her from a waking nightmare.

Tonight, no nightmare will haunt Sivagami Devi. Indra will not allow it.


	5. kavasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indra stands guard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Indra's PoV.  
> A small chapter.

Indra's first memory was that of an embrace filled with sandalwood scents.

She had been a toddler waddling after her mother on a sunny day. Then she spied two boys running through the courtyard passing around a ball. And she decided to join them, and  promptly fell down face first. A pair of arms had lifted her  gently off the ground and dusted her. The Rajmata of Mahishmati blew on her scratched up knees. Indra clung to her crying and Sivagami Devi held her in her lap for a long time that day. 

Indra didn't remember all that. But she remembered the scent. It was a scent she associated with the Rajmata, with security and solace. 

Today that smell had turned sour. The Rajmata of the Mahishmati empire had stood in a court where her word was not the final law. Her beloved son had stood against her, defied her orders. Indra knew Amarendra well enough to understand his motivations. He was the one who held himself to standards stricter than that of Sivagami Devi's. She also knew that the future King had very little diplomacy when it comes to his loved ones. A trait he had inherited from the Rajmata herself. Case in point, ordering the soldiers to arrest a visiting Princess.  And drawing his sword in the most dramatic way possible,  effectively shutting down the court . 

Though, on second thoughts, Indra realised that there was more to it than  simply defending the Kuntalan Crown Princess . Indra disliked her at first sight. And she refused to look  closely at that feeling. She knew the princess was beautiful. Hard not to notice the beauty when it stared at you from a painting large enough to fil a wall. A wall in his bedroom. She tried to forget that day. But it wasn't easy. 

The tall woman dressed in silks and gold walked as if marching into war. She did not glide like a dancer, nor sashay like many court women did in front of the princes. No, this Princess marched. Even standing alone in a foreign kingdom and facing the Rajmata, she did not stumble. The Princess had raised her head when the Rajmata ordered her arrested. Her eyes had blazed with a fire so hot, Indra had felt its heat from her place behind the Rajmata. The Kuntalan Princess also had a tight fist on her pallu, not as a crutch to hide any trembling. Indra knew that fist, it was how a seasoned warrior held a sheath before drawing a sword. 

Amarendra wasn't holding back the soldiers, he was holding back the princess. A lioness indeed! 

She didn't particularly like how he had praised the princess. He also had smile at the woman. She felt a pang in her chest when she remembered that smile. A smile that was not directed at her. A smile she hadn't seen in a very long time. And she knew that he would convince his mother to let Amarendra and Devasena marry. The future commander of Mahishmati had a heart that was as large as the kingdom itself. 

_______________________

Jeeva made a sudden movement, Indra saw from her periphery. She stood a little straighter. A little alarm shone in her eyes. And Indra knew she made the right decision to stand guard. 

The sweet pungent smell of madeira came first. Then footsteps, a faltering rhythm. 

Bijjaladeva arrived at his wife's door.

He waved at Jeeva as if swatting a  fly . Jeeva stared straight and spoke,

"No one is to enter. Rajmata's orders."

He bristled, swaying  slightly .  Even after all these years of alcohol consumption, he still had not developed any tolerance for it . A pity, Indra mused. 

"Move aside.!" He growled.

"No one is.." Jeeva started again.

He made an incomprehensible noise and moved forward.

Indra stepped out of the darkness. 

Bijjala stumbled and stopped. 

"I am.." he gestured towards himself.

"No one." Indra spoke. " No one is to enter. Rajmata's orders."

He glared at her. But she was the immovable object in his path. She wasn't afraid of this frail old man. She wasn't her dead father. Bijjala knew that.He turned away. His soldiers followed.

 

And far, at the end of the hallway, Indra's gaze met that of Bhallaladeva.


	6. preyasi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bhallaladeva felt the stares of the whole court this morning. Just not the gaze he wished for.  
> \-----  
> Amarendra is in love. He thought he knew what love was while watching his brother yearn for it. Now he understood the depth and volume of the bottomlessness that was love. But love is no war that he could fight , for his beloved brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written in Bhalla's PoV , first person narrative.  
> And the second portion is written in Amarendra's Pov. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay in posting. But i promise to be prompter from now on.

I loved animals. More like, animals loved me. I preferred their company to that of human beings. People were difficult, took time to understand them. Animals were simple. You show them affection and they cared right back. People would  simply trample over your feelings every time they could. 

Theja and Raju were amazing creatures. Raju  probably loved Baahu more. But, Theja would try to sneak in a pat whenever I was around. Though, his patting meant I would fall on my face every other time or so. Like  just now. I  barely moved away with a growl. 

And the butterflies!! Don't start with me about the pretty ladies of Mahishmati court. They would not go away, even when I snarled and threw some muck their way when one of them tried to sneak up near. That was  just after I had removed my tunic, and Baahu had followed suit. Their numbers seemed to increase by the hour. 

Baahu used to love the attention. Even a month ago, he would have flexed, and winked at those girls, making them blush and giggle. Now, he didn't even seem to realise they were there.

After another hour, many of them left. Some still stood around, unbothered by the sun, and the sweltering heat.

 

_ Idiots!! didn't they know what happened in the court today? Didn't they realise that there was no hope for their dreams anymore.?? _

_ or, where they still hoping against all hopes?  _

_ Like I was doing???? _

__

AAaaaahhh

I snarled and the remaining girls ran away.

Baahu turned to me," What??"

"Break!"

I stood my shovel in the muck and moved to the shaded lawn. 

A huge steel pitcher stood near by, and a guard helped pour it, as I washed. 

I took it from him, and poured some over my face, and chest. 

"Don't waste the water. The girls have all gone." 

_ Really ? Really??? Now his idiot brother decided to talk. ? _

"I thought you didn't see your butterflies, immersed as you were in thoughts of your princess."

"I did see them," Baahu took the pitcher and splashed water on his face. "I  simply chose to ignore them, as they  clearly weren't here for me. "

"uhuh.. "I sat down on the sack of hay and rested my elbows on my knees. 

"You don't believe me. You are now the most eligible bachelor in the country. "

Baahu was up to his old tricks again, taunting me.

I wasn't biting this time.

" Really !! " He emphasised, "Didn't you notice? Their numbers increased when you took your shirt off."

"You mean when you took your shirt off." I replied, watching Theja spin a bunch of palm leaves in the air. 

Baahu settled himself on the low wall around the stables. Raju reached for him. He batted the massive trunk away.

"I meant," he turned to me, "when you took your shirt off." 

I shook my head.

"Don't believe me?? "

"Nope!"

"aah Anna, you wound me!."

Not falling for that. No way. Every time he called me Anna, I suffered. 

Amarendra smiled.

" Really Anna. Those girls were ogling you. they know there is no hope for me. I am taken."

His voice was proud and he had a sappy stupid smile on his face.

The idiot  truly was in love. I had to smile at that. 

I had seen that sappy look before, on myself. Years ago, when I realised what it was that drew me to my Indu.

_nope.. nope .. not going there..._ i shook my head, as though that thought could  be shaken out of my head.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Whaat?"

"I said its nothing." I sighed.

"I have seen that look on you before, Anna."

"Then you know I don't want to talk about it."

I gripped my left wrist in my right. 

"Bhalla, its been years." 

"I know how many years its been," I growled.

"I'm sorry." he  really was.

I had never heard that tone in his voice. I had to look up. 

He had a soft look on his face. 

"I am in love Bhalla. Devasena is everything to me. The moment I saw her..."

"I know. I was there. Remember...??" I was so not in the mood for this. 

_ Here, was an idiot who fell in love and had his love returned in under a week.  _

_ And where was I? The years, felt like centuries.. each moment a torturous pulse in the centre of my heart.  _

__

"Sorry. I didn't mean to..," Baahu shrugged and cleared his throat. 

"What i meant to say was that before, I had only a vague concept of what falling in love was. I thought I understood, but I did not.Not  truly . Now, I know."

He paused. He had a faraway look on him. "I always thought... that is, felt..."

He sighed. "I  really understand now. If Deva were to turn away from me, I would perish in this soil right now. I could not imagine breathing the air where she doesn't smile at me." 

Baahu turned to me. "I had promised you once I will help you to kidnap Indra and help you elope. This is no jest, Bhalla. You may ask anything of me, and I will stand by you for her." 

Every word he spoke, every syllable was a thorn, a poisoned arrow in my throat. I couldn't swallow. There was something hot and boiling behind my eyes. 

Bhalladeva was no coward. But I could not raise my head and meet my little brother's eyes. Here he was pledging himself to my cause, when  just minutes ago I was calling it hopeless.. Did  I think it was hopeless when I was 9? Nine year old Bhalla had more courage than me.

I could not speak. Baahu didn't need a reply. 

\--------------------

"Amma is headstrong. but she is not all bad," Amarendra smiled at Devasena.

"If you say I'm like her in any way, i will throw this cup at your head." Devasena spoke  rapidly , while pouring grape juice into a cup. She smiled when she handed it to him.

He took the cup and hid his smile behind it. 

This was the first private conversation they were having after reaching Mahishmati. The voyage from Kuntala seemed like a dream now.

"How are you doing, yuvarani?" he asked as Devasena sat in her own chair opposite him. 

She took her cup and sipped. A drop of the grape juice lingered on her lower lip, adding a layer of lush sweetness to it. Amarendra Baahubali couldn't take his eyes off her lips. 

"Yuvrani?, " Devasena shrugged. "You can call me Devasena, Amarendra."

Then she smiled, and his world lit up. The sun setting far across from him, at the windows seemed dull when compared to the curve of her lips. 

"But coming from you, it feels different. You say it different, don't you? " Devasena had a slight blush on her cheeks. "I like it. You can call me that. or  just whatever you like." 

She looked at him with a mischief in her eyes.

_ This warrior princess  really _ _is mine!_ Amarendra sighed. 

"And when your mother kicks us out, we can go back to Kuntala. " She continued. 

"I'm pretty sure Anna would not mind. And if he did, " She laughed, "we can always elope and live in the northern jungles like the Kalakeya hordes."

Her laughter fell on him like a shower of marigolds at the doors of a temple. He felt blessed.

"Amarendra?" Devasena called  slowly . "Baahubali?" she called again. 

then she waved her hand in front of him.

He blinked and looked away.

"uhmmm... yeah!!" he nodded

"You will run away with me to the Kalakeyas jungles?" 

Devasena raised an eyebrow.

"No!"

He slanted his head, confused, " I meant the other one."

"What other one?" Devasena crossed her arms. "I didn't say anything else."

"You did." he replied. He was sure she did, or did she?

"I wasn't listening well... " 

_Aah Baahu, you are so screwed now!!_.

He sat up, and placed the cup on the table. He made a big mistake. Now, all he had to do was take the punishment. Whatever he said or did next would end him. 

A long minute passed. He felt his life flash before his eyes. 

Devasena finally sat back and crossed her legs. Her anklets made a tinkling sound in the spacious room. He felt it in his bones. He wished he could touch the little bells, caress them , and... Stop. Daydreaming is what got him here in the first place.  Just stop..

"We haven't even  been married yet, and you already stopped listening to me?" 

He shook his head  desperately .. "No no.. that's not... "

Devasena laughed out loud. 

"You should see your face..!"

He blew out a breath. 

"Its a face you like." he couldn't help but taunt her back.

"It wasn't your face." Devasena singsonged.

"oh yeah.. Keep telling yourself that, Yuvarani."

She laughed harder.

She was perfect. His perfect companion. The one who would be his shelter as he would be hers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title "Preyasi" means lover in sanskrit.  
> Special thanks to mayavanavihariniharini and her friend for the elephants.


	7. udghaatan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sivagami has made an important decision. But will her husband try not to mess it up this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sivagami Pov  
> later Bijjala's PoV
> 
> Apologies for late update. i am still writing. its the editing part that takes time.

Sivagami decided to start the day with a ministerial conference. The happenings of the day before had caused a lot of confusion in the ranks.

She walked past the grand audience hall. The court will not be held today. No public announcements to be made today.

She strode, head held high, into the meeting hall. The occupants stood as one. The eldest of them, white beard and all, had difficulty standing and was assisted by his grandchild. Varadacharya!

She sat at the head of the table. Plates and tumblers filled with delicate finger foods and fruit juices were already set at the table. The servants took their leave and Kattappa closed the door behind them. As he often did, he stood guard at the door.

Karyakarta Diwakara stood up to greet all those who were present. Sivagami, did not feel like greeting anyone personally and did not acknowledge every bow. But she was surprised by Varadacharya. It was not everyday that the old gent raised himself from his retirement to come to the court proceedings. He sat at her right, and she accepted his bow with one of her own.

Before Diwakara could start on the agenda of the meeting, Sivagami looked towards Varadacharya.

"Amarendra Baahubali has chosen his bride. Will you see to it that an auspicious hour is chosen as soon as possible? "

He smiled and said, "As you wish, Rajamata. And Congratulations."

"Thank you." She smiled back.

Diwakara, took another scroll from the table and spoke.

"Next on agenda is the issue of taxation of Gaurami Farmers. They request sanctions as their crops failed this year as well."

Sivagami sat back. Business as usual.

"The Gauramis have been exempted from taxation for the past three years, once due to war, twice because of water scarcity and this time..." Sujataka was speaking.

But she didn't think he really cared about any farmers.

There was strong knock at the door. Kattappa straightened further, if that was possible. Sivagami raised a hand and the minister stopped talking.

She knew who was at the door even before Kattappa opened the doors. Her husband always made a point to make grand entrances.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Bijjala sauntered into the room.

His wife sat at the head of the table, a position which should have been his by might of birth alone. But his father, the man whom he hated more than his brother and his nephew made sure, Bijjala would never rule.

To his right strode his faithful dog, Sethupati. The man was proving to be useful. He was the one who brought news of Baahubali's shenanigans in Kuntala. He had also brought the painting of that wretched princess home.

Bijjala had hoped to make the most of the issue the day before itself. But, his son, his own son, had stopped him. Bhalla's hold on his shoulder was slightly uncomfortable. He knew that if he had uttered one word in the court, Bhalla would rebel against him.

Bijjala knew patience. He had been patient for the best portion of his life. so he waited till dark to meet his wife. He took Madiradevis's blessings for courage. Sivagami was a formidable enemy. He had known that when he wed her, but he was manipulated by his own father at the time. But his late night foray into trying and manipulating her did not work either. Her guard was present. He doubted the girl ever slept. He should have killed her off when she was but a worm. He had made many mistakes when he was younger.

Now was not the time to dwell it.

Today, in this meeting hall, he shall confront his wife. With his son away, there was none to stop him.

He looked around, meeting everyone's eyes. His gaze only faltered slightly, which he covered with a step forward, when it landed on Varadacharya. What was the old fool doing here? But he could not dwell on it either.

He took a deep breath and announced.

"Before the issue of Gauramis and farming taxes, should not the court discuss the issue of succession?"

He made a grand sweep of his hand towards the courtiers present. He kept his eyes on Sivagami, though. Silence descended on the hall like a monsoon cloud.

"Is there an issue of succession, Bijjaladeva? I did not know of such an issue." Varadacharya looked quite bewildered.

There was the reason Bijjala hated the old man. Now, it was his turn to counter. And he had prepared for it.

"The boy who offended Rajmata of Mahishmati cannot be a suitable king. And the chit who walked into our courts, raising her voice against Sivagami cannot be allowed to be the future queen of Mahishmati. Do you not agree?" He looked around slowly meeting the gaze of every courtier, even that of Varadacharya. He looked into Sivagami's expressionless eyes at last and asked," Or do you all support them in disrespecting the ruler of Mahismati.?"

The monsoon clouds had taken all the air out of the room. Silence.

Every time, he called his wife, Rajmata or the ruler of Mahishmati, a stone the size of coconut sits in his throat. But today, he swallowed it and spoke his words with utmost care. He was sure to sound anxious for the future of Mahishmati. Even Varadacharya could not answer this time. the old man stared at him with despising eyes. The old fool would not see the season turn. He promised himself.

Only Sivagami could answer him now. And if she still supported her beloved Baahu, she will be making her a fool and worthy of disrespect in front of her courtiers. She could not afford that now.

He slowly took measure of the courtiers. Diwakara, who kept standing was a novice. He would only ever swim with the flow. Rajaguru was already his spy. Dhruvan, the minister of foreign affairs knew not to say a word about diplomatic relations with Kuntala. Sivagami did not care for Kuntala. The other ministers would not raise a point that was not pre approved by Sivagami. And only Varadacharya or his grand kid, Vaibhava made any effort to contradict her. But this was a topic neither could approach without offending someone of the royal family. There was nowhere for Sivagami to go.

_The ball is truly in your court, Sivagami._

Bijjala gleefully rubbed his hands in his mind.

Then she spoke.

"It is always the first born of the King that inherits the title unless otherwise determined by the previous ruler himself."

Sivagami sat back in her chair, reaching for another scroll on the table. Then she looked pointedly at her husband and added,

"We shall not question Vikramadeva's last words."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title of the chapter "udghaatan" means act of opening. i chose that because , it is here that the last act of the story begins.


	8. rajakatha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> once she saw a warrior face off certain death, and play a hand that destiny had not dealt him. If he could do that, the least Sivagami could do was keep her promise to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sivagami PoV. Flashback

Rajguru was present when Vikramadeva, tired and dying made an unusual request. Rama, the assistant vaidhyaraj ran to the door to call Kattappa. 

Vikramadeva, the King of pro

sperous Mahishmati was in his prime when the mysterious illness had caught him in its webs .  According the rajvaidhya, Vikramadeva's blood had turned poisonous in his veins, and polluted his organs in turn . The liver, was dying off the load of blood it had to purify every minute. His daily medication was  merely prolonging his agonised life by days and weeks; not curing him in any way. 

 

Only the will of a warrior King was keeping him breathing, and even that was becoming difficult these days . He was fighting for his life, to be with his pregnant and distraught wife. 

 

Srividhya Devi was a strong woman. But there was only so much strength could do. 

Sivagami Devi did not always get along with the queen of Mahishmati. But they had each others' grudging respect. Srividhya had it easier than Sivagami in carrying her child. But the stress of her husband's failing health was making it difficult for her. And a concerned Vikramadeva had banned his queen from visiting him. To top it  all of , the two women were  effectively ruling a kingdom from their bed chambers. 

 

Only a rotating crop of ministers and thier aides were allowed in. Even Bijjaladeva stayed away, not just physically, but he had seemed to be taking a vacation from his manipulations. There was something to be said about hormonal women and their temper.

 

Kattappa and his men stood guard at Vikramadeva's door. An elite guard of women warriors, trained by the general stood at the door to the Queen's rooms.

 

And it was Kattappa who came to fetch Sivagami.

 

She was having difficulties that day. Her baby would not settle down at all. She had walked around her room all morning. the motion would put the baby to sleep. But the moment she sat down, he would awaken, kicking up a storm inside her belly. It was only in the past hour that the stubborn little man had decided to give his mother a reprieve. Sivagami was sure it was a boy. 

"Amma!" a quiet voice awakened her from a dream about hydrangeas. 

"Kattappa?" 

Sivagami murmured, and rose from her recline. 

"The King asks for you."

Calm words that did not quite conceal the tremor in his powerful frame. The words conveyed a lot more meaning than  was said . The King had a last wish to make, and he had requested not his wife, but his sister-in-law. Vikramadeva would make a last stand in his death bed. And Sivagami will stand guard for him. This required more poise than she could muster at the time, but she had Kattappa walking behind her. _That will do._

Sivagami felt strange entering the King's private chambers. She had no right to be here. She was not surprised to the rajaguru present. Someone else had called Varadacharya too.  Probably one of Kattappa's men. They were quite an intelligent lot. Also was present a  mostly sober Bijjala, and Karyakarta Samadeva. 

Kattappa brought a high backed chair for her. And she sat. 

_ Protocols were breaking left and right today.  _

The vaidhyaraj poured a colourless odorless liquid into a silver bowl, and sprinkled a few dried herbs in . Sivagami recognised turmeric, tulsi seeds and nagapushpa stamen.  He murmured something under his breath, as he took a sandalwood ladle and stirred the contents of the bowl . 

She took a breath and looked at her friend. Vikramadeva stared at her with whimsical eyes. He had seemed to age sixty years in two months. His hair was thin, and a many white- WHITE?- strands lay on his pillows. The wrinkles on the edges of his dry crackling lips were white. he looked like a frail old man, except his eyes. 

His eyes, his eyes held the same mischief she saw the first time she saw him. Here was a man who hid his iron will behind an easy smile. And she knew that whatever Bijjala had planned, Vikramadeva would spoil them. These were not the eyes of a man who had given up. Here was a King who loved his Kingdom and its people more than he loved anything else. She smiled at her friend. 

With his brother, Bijjaladeva: the chief of his council of Minsters, Varadacharya; the rajaguru, rajvaidhya and the General of his armies as his witness, King Vikramadeva spoke to his sister-in-law, 

"Devi Sivagami, will you lead Mahishmati till my first born comes of age?"

There was a collective gasp from the witnesses except Varadacharya; Kattappa sighed in relief .

 

And before the shock could be overcome, Vikramadeva turned to the rajvaidhya. 

 

"My sister-in-law  shall serve me my, my fi-final medicine." His voice cracked at the end, and Sivagami's heart broke. 

 

Though his eyes were dry and hers were brimming with tears, she saw what he meant. And when she turned to the rajvaidhya, there was a fire in her eyes beneath the tears. She took the bowl from him, as the man saw his death in her eyes. She ladled a spoonful and held it to Vikrama's lips. 

_I am so sorry my friend,_ her eyes told him. And she saw an answering twinkle in his eyes.

_ Nothing to forgive Siva. _

Out loud she spoke.

"Your will shall be done, your Majesty. You heir will be born in safety."

A vow she knew none would mistake.

Vikramadeva stretched a smile on his lips for the last time, and closed his eyes. He slipped away in his sleep. 

 

Sivagami haunted the Queen's chambers for the next few days; until she could handpick all the guards and cooks . Kattappa appointed himself to their door. He brought a bedroll in where he could sleep near the door, and direct the armies when needed. 

 

Bijjala spend the next weeks in a madira stupor,  apparently mourning his brother. 

 

On the dawn of an unusually bright monsoon day, Sivagami birthed a son who came into the world  easily . 

The kingdom of Mahishmati was as stable as it could be. Until the dark night of another birth a month and half later. The Queen Srividhya gave her life for the son who screamed an entire Kingdom awake.

 

Sivagami's reprieve was over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title "Rajakatha" means Royal History


	9. shuklapaksha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indra once believed her decision to be right. But whatever has happened in the past few months have made her question herself. Was she wrong?  
> She believed she could be professional and unaffected when the time came. But time had other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Indra PoV

She spend the day in the barracks. Mandatory leave after Kattappa found that she stood guard for 24 hours. The man cared about his soldiers. He cared, as much as a man in service to royalty could care.  
Indra was jealous of his ability to see things as black and white. For him, an order from the royal house - any order really, was the law, he never question any of it. Not the integrity, never the justice of it.  
Indra suffered, trying to emulate him.  
Duty and loyalty before self!  
It was a trial through fire for her.  
Especially the last few months. It started during the Yuvraj Amarendra's month long journey through the kingdoms. 

Indra had stood guard near the Rajmata as an architect showed her the plans for a new palace to be built. Indra did not listen to anything, just filtered the words through her brain for threats of any kind. But this was new. And after the man left, the Rajmata had turned to her,  
"Indra, bring Bhalla here. We need to know if he likes these plans for his new palace."

And she had proceeded towards the Yuvraj's chambers. With utmost professionalism, she requested his presence in the Rajmata's rooms. The glacial look he send her way could have burned her down. Only years of practice in controlling her facial expressions saved her. She had stared blankly ahead as he sat back in his chair and stroked the foot long scroll in his hands. she did not look at the roll of paper. But then he deliberately, and very slowly unrolled and spread the thick paper on his desk.

There was a considering regard on his face as he stared at the image. And ignoring the beautiful painting of a beautiful princess was beyond Indra when he gazed at it like it might come alive any moment. And it was a princess. The utter confidence she projected was felt even through the painting. The heavy blue and gold of her attire and the atmosphere of the room in which she sat, all screamed royalty. 

And as that blue bled into the air in the royal rooms of the Yuvraj, with every second he spend staring at the image, the air in the room became stifling. She felt a shortening of breath. She feared she might cough and give her away; she wanted to cough and break his concentration. His gaze when aimed at someone else was ice through her veins. and it was unfamiliar. She had to raise her chin and stare straight, Kattappa's training coming handy.  
the next moment, he stood up and walked away from the table. She was content to follow. And when they reached the Rajmata's rooms, Indra excused herself in a murmur.  
The Yuvraj did not seem to notice.  
It had hurt. Icy blood in her wrists.  
But she walked away,.

It was only later, much later when she realised something. That was the first time in her life the Yuvraj had ignored her. He had been unaware of her.  
Every moment in his presence till then, she had felt the weight of his gaze on her. Other times, she had felt his presence in the way he moved when she was near. They always moved around each other like two predatory cats who respected each other's territories. who walked carefully lest their tails might caress the other's. Even when he was far, she knew when he neared. And all these years, she was sure he felt her presence the same way.  
Not so much. She realised.  
And if it hurt her, it was deserving. Hadn't she ignored his presence through these years? Hadn't she treated him the same?  
And this moment of realisation marked the beginning of end for her. 

She had wanted to run away, scream, and shout. She wanted to curse the gods, their fates and destiny. She wanted to take her sword and kill that old man who destroyed their lives. But what she really wanted was to run, to run crying through the palace grounds till she reached him. And to run into his arms, where he would enclose her in his broad arms and hold her to his heart. And he would croon into her hair,  
"Whoever its is shall die Indra. I wont let anyone make you cry."  
Then she would hit his chest and amidst sobs tell him how it was he who hurt her and that he could not kill himself!.  
Then he would...  
STOP  
STOP you fool!!!

Indra finally gave in to tears. She laid back in her small cot and sobbed silently.  
She couldn't run away. That would be cowardice. She was the daughter of a brave woman, she was raised by another brave woman. She would not run away. She could not betray the Rajmata.  
Screaming aloud inside the soldier's barracks would destroy her reputation forever. She might as well run away. No, she could not do that either.  
For an insane moment, she imagined running through the palace, her turban falling off...  
STTOOOpP!!!  
Se could not do that.  
Not because she was scared what anyone would think of her.  
At that moment she wasn't worried about her reputation. She was scared that if she did run to him now, after 16 years, he might not open his arms. That he might look upon her as a stranger. That he may have finally given up on a childhood dream. That some princess from some obscure kingdom had finally torn Indra from the Yuvraj's heart.

Yuvraj!  
That's what she called him. Even when they were bosom friends, she only ever called his name when the two of them were alone. It was always Yuvraj. And in those days, calling him Yuvraj was her way of teasing him. The sarcasm in her tone was never lost on him. It was a favourite pastime of theirs to call Amarendra in that tone. After all, he was the supposed King. Even Rajmata joined in when she could.  
Those days had passed like dust on a busy road.  
Indra turned to her pillow and screamed into her pillow.  
Yuvraj!  
She never took his name. Even when she called Baahubali by his name, she never called his brother by name. Not even in the privacy of her heart did she dare take his name.  
She cried till night arrived. And then she wore her armor and reported for duty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title "Shuklapaksha" means the half of month were moon increases


	10. nirantaram

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bhallaladeva reminisces.

It was late morning when I reached Father's chambers. He was in a stupor already. The sun was climbing towards the highest point in the sky and my father was already drunk out of his mind. A brief summer shower had washed the balcony clean. I knew what transpired in the council in the morning. It was my job to know. Father was washing away his sorrows in madeira. I wanted to wash away my sorrow s too. Although, my sorrows were  vastly different from his.

I  was tempted , of course, by the golden liquid in the silver jars. 

there was once a time when I had given in to temptations like these. A time, when sensations were hurtful and only an overindulgence had numbed me.  Strangely , or  maybe not  strangely , those were the times, my father showed any affection towards me at all . 4

he had once got some tradesmen to smuggle in a prohibited wine from some obscure kingdom west of us. A Chin-Sake =, he called it. I was young and  just graduated. Suffice it to say, any affection from father felt amazing for me. I appreciated it until I saw who brought up the meat platter to go with the wine,. 

Baahu called him "mama" 

I did not. I used to call him Gurudev, until this morning. I knew even that upset Kattappa. He was a slave, my father insisted every time Kattappa crossed our paths. Him being a slave meant he could not disobey anything the royal family decreed. His relationship with Baahu was very laidback in a way it would never be with me.  but I respected the man and I also knew that once I graduated, I would have to stop calling him guru and start calling him by his given name .

Kattappa was a warrior, brave and courageous.  He had distinguished himself in the eyes of the old King, my grandfather, who appointed him General . No slave had ever reached such a position.  But even as he took oath as the interim Commander of the armies, the cunning old King made him retake his slavery vows . He knew that if Kattppa did not have shackles big enough for his feet, he could topple kingdoms. Kattappa was no one's fool. He understood what he did. 

His service to the crown meant that when I took my oath as the Commander, he would be in a position lower than mine. I understood that he would not retire any soon, but I was hoping to make him take an advisory position. In any situation, I could not be in a familial relationship with Kattappa. 

The poor man had to endure Baahu calling him "mama", already. 

I had watched how amma called him by name, with all the respect he deserved. For her, he wasn't a slave, but an integral part of Mahishmati, second only to our royal family.  It took me many tries of practice in front of a mirror and with Baahu as an audience to combine the tone of respectfulness with command . 

oh, and when Baahu became King, I may have to pull him aside and warn him not to call Kattappa mama in front of the court as he does now . Kattappa would self immolate in indignation. Or, the smart man might  just abolish slavery as his first act of crown. Ha...

Anyways, I was a graduate and my father had opened a bottle of expensive wine.  Maybe he wanted to rub Kattappa's face in it or he  just didn't care about anything at the moment. I was betting on later. But it was Kattappa who brought up the platter of meat that night. 

His face was a mask, but his eyes, for a moment hurt in betrayal when he saw the goblet in my hand. He hid it as soon, but I had seen it. I was looking for it. And with only a burning sip I had already taken, I put the goblet down, for the last time. Never to take it up again, 

I watched my father that night. How madeira had diminished the man.  The way his body trembled at the sight of wine goblets, the way his arms sagged, his flighty eyes and slurring speech . He did not notice when I switched my wine goblet with a water tumbler. 

He talked all night about his plans. His plans to murder Baahu, plan i had heard before and dismissed as a drunkards chatter. Though that night I listened. I heard the details that night. Details, he could not have had. Details only Amma or her closest aides could know. I heard plans to crown me King as he had wished for himself. Then he talked of assassination. He spoke of murdering the one who held power, he was talking of killing amma. But then his speech was in the past tense. It took me several more moments, but then the one sip of Chin-Sake turned to lead in my belly. And I threw up. 

The madman laughed. He laughed and declared I was a man finally. 

I did not listen anymore. I ran. 

It was near dawn when Kattappa found me sitting shivering near Amma's lily pond. Somehow he found me dry clothes and led me back to the palace. 

The morning before, I had been boasting with Baahu about how I was a big man now that I had graduated. And that I  was scared of nothing. 

But I  was scared of Kattappa then. I  was scared that  eternally loyal Kattppa would kill my father for what he had confessed. I could not help it and I cried. Kattappa took me in his arms and let me sob into his massive shoulder. 

We sat on the swing set together for a long time watching the jasmines. And he told me a story. I don't remember it now. I could not hear for the rumbling noise in my heart. But I remember what he said at the end. 

"In every man's life, there comes a point where he has to make a choice not based on good or bad, but whether the choice is worth the sacrifice it asks for . And that is when a boy becomes a man. Choosing between good and bad is a child's play. But all adult decisions ask for payment. You have to decide whether the cost is worth the choice or not." 

He stood up to leave, and I could see the sun rising behind him.

He continued.

"Baahu is full of heart. His heart is big enough for all Mahishmati. But Bhalla, your heart is even bigger. It takes courage to hide a heart like that.  And it will take all your courage to make tough decisions that will safeguard Mahishmati, not  just Baahu's heart ."

And he walked away,

Years, I had spent years studying martial arts and philosophy under gurus from all over the kingdom, including the man who  just walked away . I spent more years studying the art of manipulation by watching my father. But nothing I learned till then mattered to the lesson Kattappa gave me that night,

The next morning, I went hunting. And when I met Kattappa later,  just mentioned one thing, 

"Kattappa, Amma needs better guards."

He smiled. "On it."

And I knew that he had his eye on the issue already. He was  simply waiting for me to step up to the task. Later, one of Amma's aides disappeared,  ostensibly to go on a pilgrimage.  Amma  simply exchanged a glance with Kattappa when the middle-aged gentleman took his leave . 

The next day arrived a new platoon of guards. All women. All wearing identical turbans, and identical scowls. 

Rajmata's elite guard. 

One of them stood to the right and behind of the Rajmata and stared straight at me without recognition. 

I had made a promise to Kattappa. I would not drink. 

I walked away from Father's madeira induced chatter. The training court was free this night. So I trained, like every other night. 

The commander of Mahishmati could not be strong enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title "nirantaram" means without interval or always

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the soundtrack of "Interstellar" by Hans Zimmer, solely because that was what i was listening to while i wrote this.


End file.
